some randomness from this one insatiable mind…

Monthly Archives: December 2010

ok ok fine i’ve delayed that 30–day challenge. Im still stuck at day 6! darn. been busy with stuff, really. lol. or was it just another lame excuse for not upating. like seriously, it gets really hard to update once u stop for months. tend to face writer’s block all the way in writing a single entry. hence, no update! 

neway, talking about my holiday.. i think i am trying to enjoy it to the max. tho it gets really boring sometimes, but i think i should be grateful for having this long holiday luxury! not that everyone can have it. most of my friends are whining about not having enough holiday la.. dah abes cuti tahunan la.. hehe pity them really. but that’s the kind of life fact that one should accept. u get less in something, but u get more in other things. u cant always have everything the way you want it to be.

so what do i do with my holiday?

1. im on a really tight budget at the moment. after the transfer, i only receive the basic pay which is not that much. enough to pay bills and makan je!

2. so, based on my current financial situation, i couldnt afford to travel overseas like i used to do previously. so i stick in travelling in malaysia, which is also quite costly; fuels and tolls.

3. been travelling back and forth from kemaman – kuantan – kuala lumpur – kuantan – kemaman  for weddings and dating! a lot of weddings but only one date so far. hope it could be more “dates” with that someone later in near future as i really really reallllllly like you! *if u r reading this*

4. Yup, as i said just now. I spend most of my weekends attending weddings; friends and relatives’ weddings. People choose to get married during this school break for god knows why! and apparently, most of my friends are getting married this year! maybe it’s time! haha and talking bout weddings, so far, i’ve been invited to more than 25 weddings, which the last wedding i was invited would be held in June 2011. lol. that’s kinda lama lagi kan..?

5. Besides wedding, i spend my time doing baby-sitting to my nieces and nephews. My sisters are all busy working adults. travelling a lot and what left are their babies at my parents place. haha.. so me having nothing to do, and being a nice uncle, do baby-sitting lah! but i kinda enjoy it tho! i love kids. and hope kids love me too!

6. Oh i am also my sis’ chauffer! haha.. if she is lazy to drive for a day meeting, i would be called up and hired to be her driver lah. i would offer myself if she has meeting in KL so that i could plan on meeting you again *if only u read this*. sambil menyelam sambil minum air, as how the malay proverb sounds like! hahaha and being a driver, she insisted me to follow her to JB from 15–17 Dec and Penang from 27–29 Dec. Seems like ad-hoc unplanned holiday are rested upon me, but somehow i kinda like it!

7. Other than that, i do normal routine. Being an adult, i do go out lepaking with friends. Usually i just go out in the evening around 5.30 to Hai Peng Kopitiam for a cup of coffee or two. Then at nite, around 10pm, another round of coffee and loud borak2 session with mates at Kemaman Station! Kalau rajin, i would drive up to Kuantan to lepak2, but not that often lah…

8. I would just stay at home if i have nothing interesting to do, or just to save up some money. I would just stay in my bed get online, reading blogs and online papers and tabloids and gossip pages and etc. Then i fill up my stomach till it is fully filled and tak bleh bernafas kekenyangan. Go back to my room. Either online or tido! Not a healthy lifestyle i lead. Arghhh!!

 

So thats about it really!
Au revoirs!

 

p/s: bila kita nk date lg! i takut nk sms u, sbb u tak suka reply!

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Day 5:  A time you thought about ending your own life…

 

My life gets really miserable sometimes. But whose life doesnt? 

Altho how miserable my life have been and would be in the future, i never thought of ending it. For as long as i’ve lived, about 25 years now, i’ve been thru all the ups and downs the life could offer. I’ve been thru lotsa hardships and miseries that i sometimes feel so clueless of what to do with my life, but having the thought of ending it, just insane!

Why?

Because, we only have one life. And this one life is too precious to be wasted. And i’ll try my best to live it to the fullest. They say, seize the day! and so i’ll seize it!


Day 4 : Your view on religion!

 

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Was born and raised as a muslim. Nothing would change.

Well all religions teach people to do good and forbid them from doing the bads. We are not supposed to question which religion is better than the other. As long as you know which one to choose and you follow its teaching, then it should be good enough.

For me, religion is a way of life. It gives u the guidelines on how you should live your life. There are rules that you have to follow and obey in order to ensure everything works in place; peace and harmony. I accept the fact that everything about us is limited. We have limited control over everything including ourselves. Thus, these rules are created just to remind human like us that every single action, comes with certain consequences.

Having said that, we are given the full autonomy either to follow what the religion says or otherwise. Bearing in mind that we are ready to take all the responsibilities over the consequences of our actions. Some religions promise pahala and dosa, heaven and hell for every deed we do! So, u pick what you want!

Really, what makes me feel bad about certain religions is because of those extremists. They go beyond what the religion preaches. They act like they are the sole owner of the religion. These people, they sometimes go too deep in understanding the ‘religion’ forgetting the basic values of the religion itself. I have came across too many incidences in which these ‘deep understandings’ clashed with basic teachings, and that caused confusion, especially for beginner like me.

So guys, if u r really into certain religion, go and read and learn about it from many sources not just one. and you shall find the beauty of it.

 

p/s: not a good muslim myself, but trying to…


Day 3 : Your view on drugs and alcohol.

 

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This gonna be very short as i dont find it interesting enought to talk about!

 

1. Drugs and alcohol can be useful but it can also be misused!

2. If misused, it causes a lot of problems to that particular individual and the society at large. U’ve heard so many cases like crime and stuff, related to drugs and alcohol.

3. Many religions forbid their followers to abuse drugs and drink alcohols.

4. I dont judge those who take drugs and alcohol. They have their own reasons for doing so. and hey, who am I to judge? But you should know what’s good and bad for you.

5. If you were to take on drugs and alcohol, please do it sensibly. Dont cause others to suffer because of your irresponsible actions.

6. Dont drink and drive. But you can smoke and fly.

7. Better lead a healthy life! 

 

Darn! Boring!  

 

p/s: mind is miles away. cannot put on my thinking cap! aiyak!


Day 2 : Where you’d like to be in 10 years.

 

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I want to be back in LONDON in 10 years time.

 

To some, holding a bachelor degree is enough. They start to stagnate. But not for me. I wont feel satisfied till i finally get hold of that doctorate degree; the pinnacle of academic achievement one could achieve. It’s not someting impossible, but it needs hard work and determination. And that’s my goal for these 10 years duration.

The initial plan was, after completing my bachelor degree, i wanted to do my master degree straight away. Unfortunately, i got posted to a rural area in Sabah. The circumstances didnt allow me to go on with the plan, so i decided to halt it. I was frustated. Knowing that some of my coursemates were already into some master degree programs, the frustation got to its highest peak but i could not do anything about it, but to telan air liur and be patient.

Now that i am no longer in the wilderness, it’s time for me to catch up with the rest.

1. I plan to apply for a master degree program middle of next year, might be June intake. 

2. Still considering the course i would take up, but i am pretty sure which uni i am going to. 

3. It’ll be done in part-time basis. The duration of the course would be 4 – 6 semesters, about 3 years to complete.

4. After completing the course, my 4–year contract with the MoE should have ended so i am no longer bonded.

5. I will apply for a teaching post in any local or foreign uni. (uitm or any uni in brunei or thailand should be good).

6. Will teach in uni for another 3 – 4 years before applying for scholarship to do my doctorate.

7. Any uni in London or UK should be good for my doctorate. I am not that fussy. (Cambridge/Exeter/Reading should be good)

8. Will spend another 3–4 years for the program.

9. So by the end of these 10 years duration, i’d be in London (or UK) still undergoing the postgraduate course.

10. I’ll be 35 years old by that time. Kertu sudah!  😛

 

So that’s about it really… That’s how far i could imagine myself in 10 years time. It’s a bit too ambitious, but i think i can make it and i really wanna make it real…

 

p/s: anyone care to join..?

 


Day 1: Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it.
I am SINGLE and i dont DENY it.

Yeah, im a charming 25–year old single man!  Ha ha. Not sure bout the charming part tho, but hey, i think i am charming… 😛 lol. Talking about relationship, i dont deny the fact that i’ve been into a few failed relationships previously. Maybe i was too young and too naive to actually hold the comittment a relationship needs to work. I thought i did my very best, but it ended with a huge explosion to my fragile heart, everytime. So, about 3 years ago, i decided to stop looking for my soulmate and stay single for god knows when. 

What do i think about single life? what i’ll write down here would be my personal opinion and does not meant to offend anyone.

1. More freedom – not that being single i can have total freedom. but the freedom i get from being single is far more extensive than the one i get from an attached life. i could do almost anything i want. i dont really have to consult anyone to make up my mind on certain things. i dont have to tell anyone when i decide to go somewhere or do something.

2. Euphoric – single life gives you more chances to explore and experience this euphoric world, as long as you are ready bear the consequences. being single, it allows for more spontaneity in your life because you dont have anyone to decide it for you, but yourself. therefore, it gives more excitements.

3. Stand on your own feet – this is crucial. based on my experience, i tend to depend on the other half to do some of the things that i could do myself. and that’s not good. when you rely on someone too much, u tend to be so complacent and have no tendency to improve. being single, i have learnt a lot. i learnt how to take care myself well, i learn how to manage my time and financial well, i learnt how to enjoy myself and etc. the skills that i’ve learnt from being single make me a more rounded and complete guy. but there are a few extra things that i could learn from being attached as well. and for that, just wait till the time comes.

4. not having to tolerate one’s annoying habits – face it. we have squirks that others might find it annoying. and being single, frees this issue. being attached, they tell you to accept your partner the way they are. as bruno mars put it “coz you’re amazing, just the way you are”. like seriously dude..? how amazing it is to tolerate annoyance habits from that other half? well, i do believe that if you really fall for someone, you’d find a way to accept them the way they are, but it’ll take some times. and being single doesnt mean that you dont get this kind of problem, but you have more reasons not to bother about it and move on to find the perfect piece for you.

5. Less mood-swings! – being single, not that you dont get mood swings, but you have more control to stabilize it. based on my experience, when you are starting to get into a relationship, all sorts of feelings start to build up in you. your emotion can completely go out of whack. in the early courting phase, you could go miles a way a minute constantly thinking about that person. you become too aware of everything around you. you tend to be too conscious to make mistakes. your mind keeps on thingking about “does she/he loves me?” “what is she/he doing?” “why he/she doesnt reply to my messages” “what if he/she likes someone else”. these rampantness of your thought makes your life miserable. and by being single, you have less to worry about. and yeah, being single you dont get to experience the break-ups which saves you a lot from getting mood swings.

having said that, deep down inside, i am still hoping to find a perfect match for me. a lover that i dont have to utter thousand words to convince how much i love that person, but just a smile that speaks itself. i’ll be on cloud nine all the time to have someone i could share my joys and sorrows, my high and lows, someone i could snug in the duvet with when the temperature gets a lil bit too cold, spend hours swimming in the pools with, do short and long roadtrip together, and many other things. i would want to experience giving all the love i have and being loved in return. a feeling that i havent felt for so long now. oh! dream on, Mien.

 

p/s: i want you…