some randomness from this one insatiable mind…

Monthly Archives: April 2006


when it rains.. it rains.. i cannot make it stop.. or make it =
go away.. and i dun ask for it to rain.. but i like when it rains.. it =
makes me feel free from any stress, any unbearable feelings in me.. it =
makes me forget all about my misery.. my loneliness.. my homesickness.. =
my sickness.. everything .. it cools me down.. thank God..


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<p>hmm.. when boredom strikes.. it makes me wanna write more =
and&nbsp; more.. it might be something nonsensical.. but i dun =
really care.. coz it doesnt really matter…&nbsp; just finished =
updating my myspace’s blog.. since more people read that blog than this =
one.. i have to be double-standard when it comes to this tho..</p>

<p>last nite, i was talking to a friend of mine in NZ thru phone =
call.. this is one of the best things about living in UK.. u can call =
anyone u want for a very cheap price.. and in my case for free.. hehe.. =
back to the topic, i was talking about ‘human’.. to be specific.. human =
and religion</p>

<p>time really tought me a lot about human (including me myself =
and i).. and its relation to the holding on to a religion.. me as a =
muslim.. i was taught to be a good muslim since i was a small kid… my =
parents kept on imparting good islamic values in me.. and they are still =
imparting more and more values eventho i am old enuff to think, to =
rationalize and to search on ma own.. and i am glad to have them in ma =
life.. otherwise, i dun know what wud happen to me without their =
guidance.. </p>

<p>u see… eventho i was imparted with loads of values to be a =
god muslim.. i am still not a good one.. i do my biggest =
responsibilities, the 5 pillars of Islam. and i know what is good and =
what is bad.. and i realize the consequences of doing it… but me being =
a human.. i always forget about it.. especially when i was doing it.. =
and to be frank.. i’ve done lots of sinful deeds.. it is not that i dont =
know about it, but it just that i take it very lightly.. and sometimes i =
just pretend that i wud not get into any trouble if i do it.. (yeahh.. =
not now.. but in hereafter).. that is human..</p>

<p>however, as long as u want to change.. as long as u have the =
gut to change urself to be someone better… u are never too late.. for =
me, i know the fact that i am not a good muslim.. keep on doing sinful =
deeds.. but deep down inside of me… i want to change.. i always wanted =
to be a better person.. someone who walk alongside the right path of =
islam.. to do what it asks me to do.. to follow my beloved prophet =
Muhammad SAW, my idol of all time.. and… all i have to do.. is to =
prepare myself to be strong enuff.. to forfeit all those barriers in =
life.. all those fun-but-yet-sinful things… i have to keep strong.. i =
need to be strong!!!</p>

i dun know why do i feel so lonely today.. everything seems to =
be lingering on ma mind without wanting to get off.. and it makes me so =
tired.. tired of thinking about my loneliness.. feeling sicks.. feeling =
being left alone in d dark.. feel homesicks.. all d bad feeling seem to =
haunt my life for the whole day.. and i am so so exhausted.. i need a =

kit kat always says, take a break with kit kat.. but no matter =
how much do i consume kit kat.. they still dun want to get off me.. and =
i still dun get any break.. still carrying all those things..

im so sick today.. my body temperature rising like one kind.. =
my nose running very badly.. my head dizzy like hell.. my mouth is full =
of ulcers.. arghhh… i really dun like this.. really dun like this… =
hoping it will end soon.. im tired of all these…

i want this loneliness to end.. so that everything will end =

::noblemien =

eden project is so nice.. =