some randomness from this one insatiable mind…

Monthly Archives: July 2005

today i have no class at all… so free as usual…

hmm..

a bit confused with the horoscope bar.. i have 3 bars for my =
love, 2 bars for my financial.. and luckily full bars for my attitude… =

today..

am i gonna be a nice guy for the rest of d day..? hehe.. i’m =
not so sure about that.. hehe.. nobody can predict the future rite..? =
hmm.. even in Islam, we cannot tilik nasib.. haram n berdosa..


hmmm… rase cm nak balik pulak hujung minggu nie.. kakak aku =
dh ajak aku balik dh.. tp lum decide lagi la.. sbb kawan2 aku seme bz.. =
sorg g outstation, sorg sakit.. kebanyakan bz.. tapi aku.. walaupun bz.. =
tapi aku still spend weekend for me.. takkan dh penat2 5 hari study, at =
leastt bagi la weekend kat aku.. hehe.. tak gitu..?

dah lame dh online nie.. nak naik jap g… karang nak g smayang =
maghrib kat surau.. hehe org ckp aku dh berubah jadi baik balik.. tapi =
aku tak fikir gitu.. g surau tak semestinye baik.. sbb aku dulu pun pegi =
surau jugak… tapi perangai aku still same je.. aku tak berubah banyak =
sangat.. it just that i try to do sumthin.. tul tak..? hehe..

malam nie kakak aku ajak g tengok movie.. tapi lum sure g sbb =
die pun lum balik keje.. so, aku tgh tunggu confirmation dari die la =
nie… hehe

ok la guys.. bye


alamak.. akma dah terkeluar.. tidak.. taknak kasi die keluar, =
tp die kuar jugak.. iskh geram tul la… nape la kefli still =
tak kuar2.. aku nak sangat tengok die kuar.. tapi nasib die still =
baik… tak tau la nape.. maybe sbb dh name org malaysia, dunia muzik =
tempatan yang mane, pakej rupe lebih penting dari bakat.. tu yang aku =
still tak puas hati.. diorg tak menilai bakat tapi rupe.. nape leh jadi =
cmtu..?

actually, aku start dari konsert prelude lagi dah suke kat =
akma.. die always pukau aku bile die performs.. and aku memang tertarik =
ngan die.. sentiase tertarik… ntahla.. org kate die takder x-factor to =
enable her to be into the music industry.. but for me, she has it.. and =
she begins to develop more and more of her factors that will attract =
malaysians.. especially me.. and i can see it..

akma, eventhough u r not in the academy anymore,but i will =
always support u from behind.. i will miss ur sweetness on d stage.. i =
will miss ur performances.. i will miss everything that u have.. show us =
more… entertain us more.. no matter where u r, do ur best… and i =
just can wish u have all the lucks in the world…


I got onto the bus at 4.15 yesterday and reached home at almost =
10pm… really tiring journey.. but i didnt mind at all.. cause i wanted =
to be home so badly… and i wanted to be with ma family, wanted to c my =
friends.. wanted to c my doctor, wanted to refill my medicine =
compartment with pills and stuff, wanted to enjoy my weekend.. luckily i =
reached home in one piece…

actually i kinda disturbed back these 2 weeks.. coz assignments =
keep on queing.. and i need to complete it before i go to school for ma =
school experience.. on 8th of August, i have to hand in ma Islamic =
Civilization assignment.. the next day, i have to do a forum for ma =
Intro to ELT.. arghh.. it really disturb ma life so badly.. again, i =
have to do it no matter what.. i dun want to stuck here.. coz i know =
this is d last semester before i fly off to Marjon.. hehe… i have =
to…

when i woke up this morning, my mother cooked chicken rice for =
me.. i felt like a king.. hehe.. my mum did ask me what i want to eat.. =
hehe.. without feeling guilty.. i took this advantages of being away =
from home.. and to fulfill my hunger being away for a month.. hehe.. i =
was and still pampered by ma parents in term of academic and eating.. =
hehe.. as in my profile, the thing i love to do is eating.. i ate a =
lot.. but not to the level of ‘live to eat’.. hehehe..

now, i’m listening to leann rimes… cant fight the moonlight.. =
really nice song though.. and i love coyote ugly movie.. so nice, and so =
.. i lost my words.. hehe.. arghh.. again I Need You… leann rimes i =
love u so much.. and i need you so much.. i want more from u.. hehehe.. =
tonite i’m going to hang out with my friend.. after long time not seing =
each other.. tonite we gonna have fun.. yeah..

actually dun noe what to write.. it just that i wanted to =
update my blog.. getting addicted to blogging eventhough i’m not a good =
one.. sometimes it is very hard for me, to put my thought into words.. =
but at least i tried.. and i really enjoy writing at this moment.. i =
keep on writing.. dunno what had change me into someone different from =
who i used to be.. but, i kinda like of who i am now.. i can spend the =
wholehour writing or reading novelll. Gosh.. guy do not read novel.. who =
said.. i enjoy reading and stuff like that.. or is it because i am =
taking a language course, and i need to practise it..? it might be true =
and it might be not.. and for me, i had turn into someone better.. =
hehe.. only those who know me knew who i am.. knew my style.. and knew =
my behaviours..

adios amigos…


blog kali nie cm serius sket.. sbb kekadang kite kene =
serius.. ade mase kene lawak2.. ade mase kene serius especially yang =
melibatkan kepentingan, maruah and perasaan kite.. ntah la.. aku tatau =
kenape kene ade orang yang suke ambil kesempatan atas kebaikan orang =
lain ek.. aku dah banyak kali fikir pasal ni, tapi sampai sekarang, aku =
hanye ade beberape jawapan je.. tapi maybe korang ade pandangan lain =
tentang kenape kene ade org macam tu kat dunia ni kan..?

bagi aku la.. seme manusia kat dunia ni berbeza.. walaupun =
kembar seiras, perangai mereke tak semestinye same kan.. begitu la jugak =
ngan hidup kat dunia nie.. kalau seme orang same, make bosan la =
kehidupan kat dunia.. cube bayang kalau seme orang suke warne biru.. =
korang pegi la kat shopping kompleks ke, pantai ke.. seme orang pakai =
baju biru.. bangunan pun biru.. mesti bosan kan… sebab tu Allah =
ciptakan manusia berbeza.. tapi lantaklah berbeza pun, tapi jangan =
sampai nak sakitkan hati orang, nak jatuhkan maruah orang.. tu seme tak =
baik… dose tau… walaupun aku bukan la budak sekolah agame.. bukan =
amik jurusan agame.. tapi aku tau serba sedikit..

sebenarnye.. nape aku cakap pasal perbezaan manusia.. aku =
sekarang mmg ade rase sakit hati kat beberape kelompok orang nie.. ntah =
la.. dalam Islam.. sekirenye kite ade sedikit perasaan benci pade =
seseorang.. make tidaklah lengkap iman kite.. itu aku tahu.. tapi =
kadang2 kite tak leh nak avoind kemungkinan untuk kite benci kat =
seseorang.. tapi aku cube jugak taknak benci… and aku manusia biase, =
lakukan kesilapan.. and aku masih ade perasaan benci tu.. and aku tatu =
nak ilangkan macam mane…

nie aku nak share sikit pasal something… a bit disturbing =
kalau org tu bace blog aku nie.. tapi aku still kene tulis jugak.. sbb =
aku dh tatau nak cakap cmner.. all i need to do is.. to luahkan every =
inch of my feeling into words.. this blog.. ok, actually aku tak suke =
care one of my friends ni la… she used to be so nice when i was in =
foundation years.. but soon after we got into b. ed year.. she changed a =
lot… maybe becoz she got a group of friends which i think influences =
her a lot.. she seems to be someone else.. someone that i never knew =
of.. someone that people hate so much.. a bit bit**y shall i say… =
hmm.. this group is conquering everything.. every rights that others =
have.. and they seems to be so active and so ‘popular’.. they wanted to =
do everything, because they thought they could, but they dont.. they =
didnt even did anything impressive.. sometimes they were so lousy in =
doing some works.. yeah.. maybe it is undeniable that they are verbal.. =
they know how to talk.. they know how to ‘persuade’ they know how to =
create a propaganda.. which i think they are wrong… they thought =
people like them, but .. they are wrong… people hate them so much.. =
maybe because we used to be hypocrite.. we pretend that we like them.. =
but honestly we dont.. they lost in their own soi-disant ‘popular’ =
world.. which i think is the hell for them..

it is not that i envy them.. but, when my rights and others’ =
rights to get involved in something our cohort organizes… are being =
jeopardized by them.. i shall be the knight with the shining armour… =
telling them the truth.. and somehow i try to bring them to the real =
world.. so that they will know that they were blinded by power.. =
anger… revenge.. and popularity… they lost in their own =
‘popularity’.. and i shall bring them to the heaven’s gate… but =
depends on them whether they want to change or not.. i did my job.. my =
responsibilities as their friends.. and i did fight with them.. and in =
fact i am still in war with them.. but i dun care about it.. all i know =
is that i did what i am supposed to do..

and since they still lost… they still wanna do everything… =
my friends and i let them do so.. coz someday, when something goes =
wrong, they will know that they are not to the level of competent enuff =
to do those works.. and they will realize that they had made a big =
mistakes.. and they will be blamed for all their ‘nice’ works… =

hehe…

i dun wan to talk much.. sekadar nak luahkan perasaan jer… =
jangan la amik hati kalau terkene kat batang idung sendiri… kite kene =
trime pandangan orang lain ngan positif.. jangan jadi bodoh sombong.. =
tak mau dengar ape org kate… sbb ingat dh terer.. tapi tak langsung… =
nape la nak susahkan badan nak buat semua bende, bile orang lain jugak =
boleh buat.. yang penting ade kerjesame… bagi la org lain handle =
something jugak.. let them have experience… kalau korang nak handle =
seme bende, annual dinner, assembly, t shirt, sandwiches.. and other =
stuff, nak buat pe..? nak suruh orang puji ker.. ‘ wah ko terer la buat =
kerje ni’… nak suruh org ckp cmtu.. nape la nak giler kuase sangat.. =
bukan best pun kene puji.. setakat kene puji…

kalau korang nak tau.. aku tak nampak pun yang korang boleh =
handle all those things.. and i still remeber when handle something for =
our class last year.. it was supposed to be so ‘grand’ but in the end, =
it was a mess.. not organized at all.. and kalau ko nak tau.. aku malu =
tau tak… nampak sangat ko tak berkaliber nak handle that thing.. tapi =
mmg aku puji ko nye semngat nk buat kerje, tapi kite kan ramai.. kalau =
share sedikit sorg.. kan lagi senang kerje.. betul tak..? and people =
takkan blame kat ko sorg je kalau bende tu tak jadi.. tolong la =
faham..

aku cakap ni bukan la sbb aku nak buat kerje tue.. aku pun tak =
berape ade mase nak tolong.. tapi aku cume nak bagi nasihat je.. sbb =
kekadang aku kesian tgk org lain.. tersisih.. cm korang je bagus.. =
kitorang nampak cm timid and tak leh buat kerje.. tapi korg mane tau =
kitorg tak leh buat keje.. tp at least bagi la org lain kutip pengalamn =
jugak.. bukan susah pun.. lagi senang ader la.. aku mmg dh banyak =
pengalamn sbb aku dh involve ngan pewaris lame dah.. and aku tak kisah =
kalau korang tak nak kasi aku tolong or else…

and one thing for u to remember, before u made any decision.. =
ckp kat seme org.. dengar ape yang diorg fikir.. and smalam aku terase =
gle when ko tunjuk pattern t-shirt kat hilmi and when i came to u.. u =
hide it.. so that i couldnt c.. wow.. itu ke namenye kawan.. and itu ke =
namenye same cohort..? and aku rase ko mmg tak layak nak jadi kawan =
aku… sbb tu la kalau ko perasan aku dh tak cakap ngan ko.. aku dh tak =
ckp rahsia aku kat ko.. and aku dah tak bergosip ngan ko.. sbb aku tau =
ko sape.. kalau ko nak tau, orang lain benci kt ko.. budak laki tak suke =
kat ko… tp, aku still tolong bersihkan name baik ko.. sbb aku tau byk =
bende pasal ko.. tp aku takkan bocorkan.. tapi kali nie, ko mmg dh =
melampau, and aku tak rase yang aku boleh tolong ko lagi…

enuff 4 now..


arghh.. new sems just started a few weeks ago.. and guess =
what..? my life as a student started as soon as i got the assignments.. =
i got it on the first week.. whut 2 do.. just do it la.. hehe.. and the =
following weeks i got another assignment.. and then another the week =
after.. hmm…

nak buat cmner.. terpakse la buat jugak.. tapi tak kisah pun =
sbb dh namenye student, kene la buat jugak walaupun aku tak berape nak =
buat sangat.. ntah la.. skg ni aku mcm dah semakin malas dh.. balik =
kuliah, terus tido smp petang.. bangun tido, g main tenis and =
volleyball.. tu je la rutin aku tiap2 ari.. bile sentuh je material =
untuk assignment, aku terus rase ngantuk.. so pe lagi, aku stop =
revising, and terus landing on ma bed.. bile dah landing, tak ngantuk =
lak.. nasib baik la ainur bekalkan novel untuk aku bace.. hehe skg aku =
dh ade habit baru, bace novel… skg nie aku tengah abiskan membace =
novel2 dari john grisham n james paterson.. best gle.. aku mmg suke sgt =
bace novel thriller.. bile dh start bace rase cm tak nak stop.. tu la =
penangan novel diorg.. mmg best tahap cipan la…

alamak dh terbabas ckp mende lain plak.. hehe.. ooo… aku baru =
ingat nak tulis pe.. aku nie bukan yang suke buat keje last minit.. and =
i need cooperation from others especially when doing group work.. aku =
mmg tak gemar bile ade passenger in group.. doing nothing but gaining.. =
memang tak best.. betul tak.. tak baik la kalau kite tak beri kerjesama =
tapi nak markah for cooperation.. it sucks a bit.. betul tak..? kalau =
korg la.. ko rang bengang tak kalau kite saje yang nak kene cari bahan n =
stuff.. org lain duk sibuk bercouple, and buat keje lain.. tibe mase =
discussion, takde sape yang ader something to share about.. mane aci.. =
dah la tue.. siap nak buat last minute lagi tue.. tolonmg la.. i’m not =
hoping that i will get ‘A’.. but at least i tried.. tolong la.. please =
ma friends.. sedar la sikit.. korg nye result pun bukan nye ok sngt.. =
tapi still, tak nak ubah sikap… maaf la kalau korang terase.. aku dh =
tak tau nak ckp macam mane… aku tak kisah kalau korang benci kat aku =
bile dh abes kerje nanti.. tapi please la.. for this.. be cooperative =
k.. aku tak nak marah korang depan2.. aku tak suke nak g cakap kat dr.z =
pasal korang.. korang dh besar panjang… dh leh kawin dh.. tapi please =
la.. aku tak nak fail becoz of u.. kalau aku failed pun, aku nak becoz =
of my own fault..

so, aku nak bagi nasihat la kat korang seme.. jangan la nak try =
buat keje group work kalau korang nie jenis yang tak boleh buat keje =
ramai2 or tak sabar… sbb korang akan terseksa.. bukan setakat tak leh =
buat sebaik mungkin, tp juga u might lost ur friends just becoz of =
that.. and i am willing to sacrifice everything just to make sure that i =
do not lost my friends..

enuff for now.. nak g minum.. redekan baran …


Hmm.. it has been awhile.. as usual.. i dun really have anything to talk =
about.. just crap, and crap, and crap, and crap..=20

Wednesday is my free day.. no class at all.. it has become my routine to =
wake up early in the morning on Wednesday, have my breakfast, and go to =
the library and surf the net… this is the only day that i can spend =
time for myself.. because on the other weekdays.. i dun really have time =
to enjoy myself doing things i like to do.. except for today, =
WEDNESDAY..=20

Yesterday, i received another assignment to do.. ISLAMIC CIVILIZATION.. =
luckily that i have to write it in Bahasa.. if not, mati wa cakap sama =
lu.. hehe.. and i really need to go back to my hometown and take my =
laptop.. i’ll die without it.. i miss my laptop so much.. and i rely on =
it.. i depend on it.. and i have lots of assignments to be typed and =
finished.. i havent start my Introduction to ELT’s assignments yet.. in =
the next 2 weeks, i will have to do a forum about ‘ the considerations =
that have to be taken in choosing the instructional materials in the =
learning process’.. hmm i tried to find some info in the internet, but i =
only got vague details.. and i am a bit depressed.. arhh.. dunno what to =
do.. and i havent had time to discuss with my group members.. time keep =
on moving, but my group keep on procrastinating… delaying.. halting.. =
freezing..=20

Lecturers keep on asking us to do group works.. and i am a type of =
person who loves to work alone, individually.. it is not about getting =
credits for my works , but because i feel that working in group, =
sometimes make the task to be harder that it really is.. sometimes, =
there are passenger in the group.. doing nothing but gaining something =
from the others.. it is not a good thing to do.. at least share =
something with each other.. and the task can be completed as smooth as =
the time goes by..=20

Now, i am enjoying my life as teenagers… i go and hang out with =
friends.. make new friends.. i like the way i live my life.. i am not =
introvert-type of person anymore.. if before i used to keep everything =
to myself.. i rarely share my happiness, my sorrow, my problems with =
others.. because it was very hard for me to trust others… best friend =
is the biggest enemy.. that was why i dun have many best friends… but =
now, i had chaged my lifestyle.. i have become more open-minded, more =
understanding.. if before, i always put negative perceptions about =
others, but now, i see everything differently, to be exact, in a posite =
way.. and i kindda like it very much…